December 6

Two whole days.

I made two whole days of posting every day before I fell off the wagon.

The strangest thing is happening in our house these days.

Zane drives.

Zane driving is very different from Parker and Emma driving. Parker and Emma drove only when they needed to really. Zane seems to enjoy driving and the things it allows him to do. he isn't scared to drive anywhere and so he has been driving himself to Rugby practice, he drives to Seminary and comes back to pick Romy up and he even drove himself and the other two to YM/YW the other night. No more needing rides, no more needing me to be able to drive him somewhere he wants to go, he has the ability and confidence to do it himself.

All he needs is gas money and permission.

Instead of having my mornings include dragging myself out of bed to go to the church and then get the kids to school, Romy knocks on my door and says "I'm leaving in about 5 minutes, I'll see you after school" and she gets a kiss and a hug and I realize that--if I wanted to- I could stay in bed for hours.

That's what I did yesterday.

I was so tired and I was sad because Matt's mom is back in Utah.

We sure had a wonderful time. 

I totally won the in-law jackpot. 

One of the things we did while she was here was a trip to Unique.

They had a sale going on that day and the place was packed. They also had a leaking ceiling so there were buckets of water and wet spots everywhere. There was broken glass on the floor and workers who argued about whose job it was to clean that up. 

It was Unique in all it's New Jersey glory.

(Honestly, most days it is really tame and there are not so many crazies in the store. I mean, everyone in the store is kind of crazy, but it's not so much of a cray cray apocalypse.)

That's right, I said cray cray.

What?

Without further delay.......

Unique with Mom

This ain't the D.I., Girlfriend.

Good for you, Sister Tuttle!

 Your ability to recycle and re-use is amazing!

Why, you even recycled your panty hose into crying, faceless children.

I am excited to see what you come up with next after that online taxidermy course you're taking is completed.

"Grandpa" and "Special Beans" are code for "Run away and join the circus, Timmy. Your family is crazy."

THE GROSSEST THING.

In all my adventures at Unique I have seen some nasty things, but this is hands down the grossest.

It's not just that it's a table that someone glued painted rocks onto and possibly wads of gum.

It's this:

  CAT HAIR.

A giant tuft of cat hair. 

I'm going to guess that somewhere in the house that donated this, there is a cat named Fluffy who is constantly wearing doll clothes and stuck at tea parties who gets revenge by peeing on everything and stealing souls as the owners sleep at night.

Get my a Debbie Gibson tape, STAT!

 As Grandma explained to her what this was- Romy said "So, it's like Skype, in olden times."

Yes, Just like Skype.  In OLDEN TIMES.

Kids these days.....

Well, now what are you going to use to fix the wobble on the table? 

 Patriotic lamps- because......... 'Merica Rulezzz.

USA!!!! USA!!! USA!!!

 I wish....I wish....

I wish I had that week of my life back that I spent making this wishing well toilet paper roll holder.

  Welcome to Gary and Cheryl's Bar and Game Room...

Leave your keys and your dignity at the door.

 Who wants to buy a dollar's worth of cheap razors- used- for two bucks??

Don't worry, there is an open box of band-aids in the next aisle you can buy as well.

You've changed, David Bowie.

 You've changed, Man.

 Got my monkey, got my coconut bra...

.All I need is a banana and I'm ready to book my ticket to paradise!!

She came in like a wrecking ball.....

The most disturbing Easter tradition ever.

Burning the Easter Bunny from the ears down to the toes.

Take that Joan of Arc.

Oh Lil Keke. You were a star in your day. Your THREE versions of Where Da South At were classics. 

The instrumental version is my all time favorite- the way you rocked it on the Yamaha Keyboard with the bossanova beat.....genius, pure musical genius.

 Happy 25th Anniversary-- clearly, someone at the candle counting factory would like to just forget those last 5 years.

Soft kitty, warm kitty little ball of fur.......

Mom needed a rabies shot after touching this.

This is what happens when you trust cows with your house keys.

They raid your closet and leave you with nothing to wear to the square dance.

So Unique

Today is Election Day, so the kids don't have school. 

They use their schools as polling places and I guess if you allow kids and voters to share the same space, anarchy will erupt.

We didn't get to sleep in because the kids still had Seminary, but you're never going to see me complaining about that- unless it's really cold in the morning and I had a late night. 

I picked up a bag of bagels from the shop and we have a full day of wearing pajamas and watching Netflix in the works. 

I did sneak away this morning and stop by a little place called..........

 As a teen, I probably spent hours locked in a closet with one of these glued to my ear as my friends and I talked about what our chances were of Ricky Martin or George Michael asking us to be their girlfriends.

That's Menudo Ricky Martin, not La Vida Loca Ricky Martin.

I am very old.

 Somewhere, there's a Betsy Ross doll who is feeling mighty lonely as she sits on the shelf with the other super fun homeschool toys. 

The aisles were stocked with comics today.

I'll bet there is a 45 year old guy in sweat pants and a T-shirt with taco sauce on it who is REALLY mad at his mom for getting rid of these

I'm guessing the guy who owned all of these was lacking a few social skills.

Oh thanks Nana, a pillow filled with trash!!!

Who knew you could do so many  FUN things with a paper shredder?

I don't have a funny for these, we just totally had these glasses when I was growing up.

I went through this phase where I drank milk over ice, and once I didn't finish and I put it in the fridge.

The ice melted and it was nasty, but my stepdad was sick of me wasting milk so he made me drink it.

It was so gross. 

I can't stand drinking milk that has even been frozen ever now- and seeing these glasses made me gag.

So- this is actually just a picture I need to bring with me to therapy.

The gal who donated these is a RIOT at parties, trust me. 

You don't want to know how close I came to buying this creepy thing.

I just didn't want it to kill me with it's devil eyes as I slept.

What is this anyway?

 An egg holder? 

A tiny candy dish that holds eight M & M's? 

After successfully separating the two co-joined twin elephant brothers, doctors were dismayed to realize that neither of them actually had a brain.

Let that be a lesson to you, Science.

And what is THIS?

Whatever it is....ouch.

I'm Meow in Hell Meow.

Save meow. 

Here we have a fine example of the rare, but very popular Spoon Squirrels of Puerto Rico.

 Worst.

Pinewood.

Derby.

Ever.

Dad.

With Timmy away at camp,  Mom was able to get rid of some of the worst monstrosities he made her in art class. First to go was the googly eyed strangulation rabbit followed by  fourteen  "Eyes of God" made from Popsicle sticks and yarn.

It's funny because it's a coffee creamer set and cream comes from COWS and COWS have udders and....

 You out there in blog land-if you look in your kitchen right now and find anything with udders....you need help. 

The one handed blown glass clown monster will be visiting you in your dreams tonight.

You're welcome.

It's always time for pears!!!

Dear Santa,

Barbie and Raggedy Ann are for chumps.

 I want a Chicken of the Sea doll for Christmas because I've been good enough.

Love, Sally

This Week at Unique

It's just been too long since I made a Unique Post.

I still go there almost every week- just a quick scan for the shirts Zane likes and I walk through the furniture to see if there is some diamond in the rough there that needs me. I find many, but more often than not, I talk myself out of it because loading it in the car and back into the house would be work. 

I cannot count the number of awesome items that I walked away from out of sheer laziness.

I also, somehow, managed to walk away without these:

 The Rosie O'Doll, because who doesn't want to cuddle up to a doll in a blazer that giggles like Betty from the Flintstones? Take that Barbie, you plastic wench.

---

There was an entire wall of what I like to call "lamp nightmares" because no bogeyman or monster nder the bed is scarier than what you see when you turn ON the lights.

How good are your balloon animal skills when you have no fingers or thumbs?

--

Dumbo's pasty cousin from Utah. 

Hey now! We have diversity in Utah, there's a Taco Bell, Olive Garden and stores carry at least 4 flavors of Tampico. 

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At first, it appears to just be a scary goose lamp:

But turn her around and Mother goose will play your favorite cassette tape from her behind. 

Brilliant.

---

 This lamp has been on the shelves for months

The wooden sticks come out.

 I don't understand why.

 I also don't understand why one stick seems to have been through some kind of war, while the other three are shiny and intact.

 I don't know why this lamp exists.

What is the purpose of this lamp with sticks that come out? 

Why only use one stick?

When did the universe begin?

What is the meaning of life?

If Timmy is traveling to San Jose on a train going 75 MPH and Molly is traveling to Phoenix on a boat going 24 MPH, what time will Felix arrive in Copenhagen?

Somehow, this lamp contains the answers.

---

Simultaneously the most ugly and awesome high chair ever.

--

The Rad Robot. 

Do you children of the 80's remember this?

Me neither, but I'll bet he was epic in his day. 

Sorry, Rad Robot, I had children to do all of my work for me, so I don't need you.

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This was part of a set, however the second mother of pearlish bird picture was located four rows down, in housewares. 

The feathers are seashell stuff- mounted on blue crushed velvet.

If you close your eyes, you can hear the separated seashell birds, calling out for each other.....

   They might possibly be saying "moow....moow"

How hard is it to get the sound a cow makes correct?

Oh, New Jersey.

 Nothing I say comes close to the way your brain will explode at the awesomeness of this heavy, ceramic wall plaque.

That, my friends is art.

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And you thought your prom date did a good job of matching his suit to your dress....

Well played, Sean Connery.

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I think this is a cat:

But it kind of looks like a poop with feet.

----

  I wonder if the owner of this had a hard time letting it go and it just slowly made it's way to the Goodwill?

Oh shut up- do you have a better line for an eyeless ceramic snail?

----

Owls are on trend right now, right?

---

 Happy Mother's Day, here's a Holly Hobby plate.

Cherish it forever.

In New Jersey-- it's just two cute kids having first communion.

Through Utah eyes...... it's a Hilldale Wedding.

---

Did your Nana have a bunch of these staring at your from her fancy 'do not touch' shelf?

Were you as annoyed as I was a kid when you touched them anyway and discovered that they were just Styrofoam and their skin was made out of pantyhose?

 --- 

I don't know what to say about the yellow squatting bear thingy.

I don't know what it is and I was afraid to touch it.

----

Goatee Monkey has had just about enough of your crap. 

Eat the banana or throw it away, but stop smashing it on your forehead, Baby Monkey.

You're stupid, Baby Monkey, and Goatee Monkey is about to go all King Kong on you if you don't knock it off..

 --

And there you have another installment of  This Week at Unique.

It's funner than a one eyed, naked baby rolling around in butterflies or flowers or whatever that's supposed to be.