Tithing Settlement: A post by Matt

“TITHING SETTLEMENT”

Act I, Scene 1

INTERIOR: Bishop’s Office. MOM, DAD, ZANE, GREY and ROMY are present along with the BISHOP.

BISHOP: Romy, why do we pay tithing?

ROMY: It’s because of the…ummm….I don’t know.

GREY (excited): To pay for things!!

BISHOP: Zane, why do we pay tithing?

ZANE: It’s a commandment.

BISHOP: Good Zane. Romy, are you a full tithe payer?

ROMY: Well, actually, I don’t have any money. I haven’t earned any for a while and I’m not sure how I can get some more.

BISHOP: OK…Grey, are you a full tithe payer?

GREY: No. Sadly, when I got money I did not pay any tithing. But I promise I will from now on, you can count on me.

BISHOP: That will be great. Do you think you might be able to pay tithing on the money you already got before the end of the year?

GREY (panicking): ummm……..well uh….

GREY looks to MOM and DAD for answers.

DAD: Grey might not have any money right now. But you know what Grey, you could earn some money….

GREY: Ooooh kaaaaay…..

DAD: …You could earn enough to pay the tithing you owe plus a little more…

GREY: Aaaaaaaah…..uuuuummmm….

DAD: By doing chores!

GREY moans and starts to shift uncomfortably in his chair.

BISHOP: That sounds great! Grey, do you want to do that so you can be a full tithe payer?

GREY (mumbling): Gaaaaaahhh….no thanks.

GREY moves from his chair and slides sideways to a chair farther from the BISHOP.

BISHOP smothers a laugh.

BISHOP: OK, well then maybe you can start when you get money next year.

GREY (still very uncomfortable): I guessss….

MOM: It’s OK Grey, you don’t have to do more chores if you don’t want to.

GREY (visibly relieved): OK.

GREY moves back to his original chair and looks at the BISHOP.

GREY: I promise I’ll pay tithing from now on. For SURE.

BISHOP: That sounds good.

ROMY: Can you pay MORE tithing than you’re supposed to?

BISHOP Sure! You can…

ROMY: Because I want to earn like $50 and pay for all the many years I haven’t paid.

BISHOP: Great! So…

ROMY: You know what I should do? I should have TWO jars! One for tithing and one for the rest. And then I …

BISHOP (rising and shaking MOM and DAD’s hands): Cool! You know what else, you could even have THREE jars. One for tithing, one to spend, and one to put in your savings account!

ROMY (as all are leaving): Yeah, I don’t even have an account.

MOM: We can help you save if you want. Your dad works for a bank.

ROMY: Probably not.

EXIT MOM, DAD, ZANE, GREY, and ROMY. BISHOP closes the door, in a not-at-all-faster than normal way.

END.