Sunday, August 10, 2014

U is for Unique

It's been waaaay too long since I went on a Unique adventure.
I actually go about once a week, but I've been a blog slacker this summer.
I often see the same handful of treasure hunters when I go, and we've started to give each other that nod when we cross paths in the aisles that says "If we were in an elevator together, I wouldn't worry that you were going to murder me, but I wouldn't talk to you either."
You know, THAT nod, because it's totally a thing.

On Thursdays, Unique has everything 25% off if you join their club. 
They open at 10:00 am and at 9:55, the thrill seekers start to line up.

These are my people.
I mean, okay, THESE are my people- but the Uniquers are my people, too.

(Actually, none of my kin were pioneers, but sometimes I sing as I walk and walk and walk, so it counts.)

Onward to Unique, for this is the place, Yo.

The reason why Long John Silver uses a wooden leg is because his ex wife took EVERYTHING in the divorce. 

 Hey Laaaadies....
Why don't you bring home THIS bacon?

Dear Timmy, 
Look under your bed.....
Murder the Clown

It use to be enough to bring home a traced hand with tissue paper feathers. 
This school's art budget is way too high.

If you love something, set it free.
If it is too stupid to leave the cage, you're going to have to feed it forever.

In case the clown doesn't work on Timmy. 

I love Ewe.
I love Ewe more.
No, I love EWE more!
No way! I love Ewe More times infinity!!
(I know, that was baaaad.)

Missionary work in New Jersey, circa 1975

This was the only time Mr. Singer got to experience his wife nodding in agreement with him.

Theodore Q. Teddykin's disguise was nearly finished. His plan to pose as Santa and infiltrate the top secret candy cane cocaine ring was coming along nicely. 

"Girl... you are never going to find a nice RM in that get up. 
They totally won't let you wear that to the Institute dance. 
Put on a shrug, Yo."

"Grandpa's bedtime stories always put the kids to sleep within minutes, once he switched from telling the tales of his youth to reading Twilght to the kids.

"I know what you are" she said, staring into Edward's dreamy blue eyes. His hand reached out and he ran it through his perfectly tousled hair. He took a long, lusty sip from his Capri Sun and said 
"Say it..." 

An empty honey container filled with colored sand?
Yeah, your kids hate you.

So what if you are a flippin' mermaid?
The fact that she's wearing a necklace made of a bird's nest and onions justifies the strict "no Tori Amos" rule we have in this house. 

Hey Kyle and Rebekah-- how about we try this for our next game night?
With over 130,000 murder mysteries, we can enjoy the thrill of a spy adventure as we marvel at the wonders of technology!

How many wedding dresses had to die for this project?

Now I'll never get that song out of my head.

This was much more successful than the follow up book, titled: The Cat Who Hates Your Guts. Just Put the Food in the Bowl, Stupid Human.


  1. Remember, another persons junk is another persons treasure! ?

    1. Oh, I treasure this junk, Sister H. I treasure it!! They never had this cool of stuff at the D.I. in Utah. :)

  2. With the Osmond albums, I think someone was filming Rock of Ages - Utah chapter. lol

  3. This blog post is HYSTERICAL - your commentary is amazing!