Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Hello Blog, My Old Friend

I took a bit of a break.

I had a season of desperately barely hanging on by my fingernails- for both good reasons and bad.
The bad reasons aren't necessarily bad, but they were hard.
One day I will tell the story of the bough that broke and how we clung together and worked and prayed so that Rockabye Baby wouldn't crash to the ground. That story is still happening, and right now, we are all still going through it hour by hour- which is an improvement from minute by minute survival. We may even be dealing day by day at this point, which is great.

And none of that makes any sense to anyone but me.
That's okay.
I write my story for myself, to remember how I felt and what the days were like before they were a 'remember when."

I sound like I'm on drugs. 
Eh- it's just Diet Dr. Pepper.

Emma came home for two weeks. She was in the UK for 6 weeks, doing a study abroad. 
(Sher- did you know she's a Ute? We still love her, though. We just don't cheer for her football team.)

She brought her sweet friend, Kaliegh. 

We took them to NYC and bought them Coconut Cream Doughnut Plant. We saw the 9-11 memorial and St. Paul's. We rode the subway and I took pictures of them next to a weirdo woman with a mullet who was doing some sort of performance art that did not involve wearing a bra. 

My Zane graduated from High School.

We had a huge party with about 60 of our closest friends. 

We had floats and Nerf Guns. 
I brought treats to our neighbors earlier in the day to warn them about the party and ask for patience with all of the cars and kids who would be around- I also invited them to come and enjoy a float. 
One of my neighbors actually sent his grandkids over to play and another neighbor sent me a friend request on facebook the next day. We just may finally have become part of the neighborhood, instead of the weird Mormons for Utah who never have the same number of kids living with us on any given week. 

Parker and Zane's Arizona family came and stayed with us.

When we divorced, their dad and I argued for a solid year.
There was the typical finger pointing and all around scorekeeping and one upping foolishness going on until one day- it just stopped and it never started up again. 
We were able to be together, under one roof for over a week and while it isn't a normal situation for everyone- it was just fine here. 
 It has always been fine with our families, even when the kids were small. Their kids are treated with the same consideration and kindness as our own and there are good boundaries that show respect on both sides. Support without meddling. Freedom to be different and a ton of constant forgiving and accepting apologies we may never think we got. 
We can't even be in the same auditorium with Matt's ex without getting flipped off, the stink eye and an angry email about some damn thing we did wrong. We finally just gave up and focused on parallel parenting years ago. We were sick of being told off and being threatened all of the time. 

I don't know, it's just very different and I don't understand why every minor thing had to be so horrible and full of contention. I don't think my ex or I are so amazing and mature that we figured out some perfect situation.  I just don't think it is impossible when you choose to let things go and decide that the 'other side' has the same goal as you do and no grown adult needs another adult to tell them what to think, say and do. If they make a mistake- they will figure it out, just like every other parent on the planet. 
Talking about this stuff is pointless, because everybody seems to think that if they can figure out who to blame, it will make a difference.
( I do it, too sometimes.) 
Anyway, we had a good time with the Arizona family. I think they really enjoyed our beautiful Garden State.

Kate is home now and Jane comes home on Saturday.

Next week we are going to YW camp together with Roe.
I am not a camper.
We will see how it goes. 

In the meantime, we are going to be playing a lot of board games (Thanks Paul, Marla and Jess!) and going to Six Flags a lot. We also have four birthdays in July and a mission call for Zane coming soon. 
The world does not stop spinning just because I'm dizzy, does it? 


  1. I know Jon's ex wife is a hum dinger! Maybe she and Matt's ex are besties! That would explain alot! We always had just KC to worry about, but now that My Erin is back in our lives (adopted and found) We have been dealing with her sperm donor. Awe the last 21 years were so nice and peaceful and now they can be again. Sorry for the ups and downs and ins and outs. Looks like you had a great party! You're a great momma!

  2. I don't blame you for taking a break. I don't think I've posted anything except the odd picture here and there for a long time. I am so glad that you and your ex are able to get along. I long for the day... but I know you know that. We are excited to here where Zane is going on his mission! Please let us know (I'm sure it will be all over your blog and Facebook, so this is a silly request, I know). We sent Zane a card for graduation; please let us know if it arrived. I have very little faith in the U.S. Postal Service, even though it is better than 90% of the postal services in other countries. Britain's might be the only one that's better. Love you guys!