Tuesday, April 29, 2014

What Time is It????

 Well, it's time for another visit to our local Unique!!!

Merry FISHmas!
Get it?
It's a fishbowl and the tree is made out of....fish ...stuff...

If that didn't make you hungry, THIS will:

Om nom nom nom nom......

Betsy Ross has had enough of your crap.

Happy father's Day, Dad. You're ONE dad. 
My other dad is also ONE dad, but I got him a tie. 

Don't go for the sunshine or the sandy beaches. Go to the Bahamas for the owls.
It's where they go to retire now that foxes and hedgehogs are the trend.

Susie never knew what Mom was going to pack in her lunch, she just knew that nobody would trade with her.

  Oy to the world, Ya'll.

I really wanted to buy this for my therapist.....

If we managed to make it to 'happy' in the session, I'd pay my bill via the slot in the head. 
We could make re-living my nightmarish childhood a sort of game. 

But the entire idea was too shocking for the cow mug.
Cow mug is such a prude. 

Unlike Lady Kitterington, the dopest fly cat in da house.
Am I doing it right? Am I talking like the teenager kids talk? Dawg.....? Cat.... argh....I'm old.

Fritz barely remembers anything from the Chuck-E-Cheese Character Convention, he just remembers having waaaay to many shots out of this bad boy and waking up with a tattoo of the Little Caesars guy on his back.

This isn't all that interesting but I had one of these as a teen. 
Buster Bunny.
My boyfriend gave it to me, but he was cheating on me with this girl that was super ugly, but apparently super easy.
Now, mind you, I was also cheating on him, but at least it was with someone cute.
That's the way 17 year old brains work sometimes.
When Tyler gave me this, and Nate, the cute boy drove up to Flagstaff, got a truckload of snow and I woke up to SNOW in Arizona on my birthday as well as a Christmas tree, a teddy bear and a bottle of perfume...Tyler's Buster Bunny was doomed.
When we broke up, I took one of my brother's guns and shot Buster Bunny in the head.
Then, I hung him from my windshield.
I'd like to take a moment now and publicly apologize to everyone who was in our Seminary class that semester. We fought like an old married couple, in class for weeks.  Sorry about that whole 'chasing out the spirit' thing we did every single day.
In spite of it, we still went to MORP together and argued the whole time.
When it was time to say goodnight, we decided to bury the hatchet and just be friends.
Then we made out for a half an hour and I felt like there was balance again in the universe, since he had now cheated on HER with ME.
Good grief. 
No wonder I've been divorced twice.

 Back to my post.....

I don't think this ended well. 
Somewhere in history, there is an account of a hack poet who derailed a train full of nuns and baby hearts or something.

Papa Can You Hear Me......

( I can't explain why, but this had me laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face at Unique. It might possibly have been because I'd taken four Benadryls, but I like to believe this is simply the funniest thing I've ever said.)

Their parents didn't approve, but they were determined to make it work.
(A word of advice to Opera Guy: don't buy her a Buster Bunny.)


What in the name of all that is holy and decent?

I don't ever drink, but when I do, I drink it from the head of  my Don't Ask, Don't Tell Ken doll.
Stay Mormon, my friends. 

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