Monday, March 3, 2014

I'm Unique, Like Everyone Else

For the past few days, the weather reports have been nothing but doom and gloom. 
On Friday, they predicted as much as 14 inches.
People raided the stores and cleared them of water and bread, like they do every single time we have reports of bad weather.
As the weekend progressed, every hour the reports changed to less and less snow.
When the big scary storm rolled in last night, it left our house with less than an inch of snow. 
Thank Heavens. 

I think that calls for a celebration, or at least, a post about something other than weather and craft projects.
It's time to see how things are going during this endless winter at Unique.

Interesting fabric choice for Miss Relief Society Ugly Craft. 
Children climbing ladders-- and flowers. No, children in overalls climbing ladders. 
That has all of the elements of one of my nightmares.

This was Matt's idea, Romy had been to Unique enough to know not to let the glass touch her lips. 

Half used bottles of lotion, deodorant, shampoo, soap and an open box with a feminine product.
For when you have that not-so-fresh feeling, and you kind of want to keep it that way.

In spite of looking high and low, we did not find Nemo.
We did find his inbred cousin, Murray, though. 
He's still bitter about Disney cutting his scenes in the move and blames them for his ending up among the riff raff at Unique instead of being a ride at Disneyland.

 "Hey kids, set the table and use the classy stuff.  Make a fresh batch of Koolaid and put it in the bread stick pitcher, that will impress everyone!"

 Captain Pink Mustache is sick of these two clowns.
If only he had arms, he could punch them both squarely in the bobble-head.

If you look closely, you can see that the message here is clear. 
Keep praying, even when you break a nail. 

Unicorn Jesus.
Why not?

 Hey Baby, you wanna pit a penny in my tummy?
Oink Oink, Sweet Thang.

 Clearly, some one's mom had the same opinion of craft sand that I have.

Never, under any circumstances is this ever ever every okay.
Sand is not a craft. 
Neither is kitty litter, toilet water and anything that involves glitter.
Give my kid any of these things and I will return the favor by giving your child gum, Pixie Sticks and finger paint.

Okay, that's just cute. 

Hold Back, Lemon- I'll handle this. 

Ted Heath sings the Pop Hits, right after a smoke break and a quick toupee trim.

Is it a doctor with a  shotgun and a rat?
Maybe its a spleen?
Why the monocle?
I don't understand why this is a thing.

Mary and Joseph would like some alone time.....
(You will be spared all of the jokes we said at Unique when we saw this. We had to dodge lightning bolts afterwards.)

 Gourd Bless America.

 Luxury, pure luxury.

 If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you by the courts. 
If your court appointed attorney happens to be a troll, then rub the jewel in his belly before court and make a wish, because you're pretty much doomed.

 This just hurts to look at. 

Rock On, my friends.
Rock on like we did at Queen Mary's funeral.
Good times, good times.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think I"ll post a comment, because nothing I say will even begin to compare with your Unique descriptions! My week will be much better after this!