Sunday, September 8, 2013

Nyquil + Cable TV = Brain Rot

School starts tomorrow in Springfield.
Their lunches are all packed and we're ready to start another year.
I forgot to buy plastic spoons for their fruit..
I'm still Supermom for packing their lunches every day.
I'm sick today, I skipped church and stayed in bed like a dying slug.
I started watching the stupidest redneck show:  Mountain Men.
It's been on the History Channel all day and I can't stop watching.
It's even worse than Whisker Wars- which I watched the entire season of.
I watch these people and I don't think this show does much to dispel the idea that they're kind of nincompoops.
They take great pride on how they haven't changed with the times, but they drive snowmobiles and light fires with lighters- and they also have camera crews following them around, so it's not like they are going to die alone in the Montana wilderness.
The guy in the middle is the one I want to throw a shoe at.
If there is a right way to do something and a stupid way, he will always choose the stupid way and then he wonders why his crap is breaking all of the time.
Maybe things break the day after you fixed them because you repair wheels with rocks and use gunpowder to split wood because you waited until 48 hours before your bank loan was due to even think about a way to make your payment, Eustace.
He lives in North Carolina, about 15 miles away from a regular town where I'm pretty sure they will sell you a hammer, so you're not fixing your plow with a rock for TV.
Eh, who am I to judge?
I've been watching it for 9 hours.
In my defense I've taken a LOT of flu medicine.
But I have terrible taste in TV shows, I know that.
If you look at my DVR, you'll stop being my friend.
Yes, there are the good shows- Downton Abbey, Broadchurch, and Big Bang Theory, but there are a lot of really stupid reality Tv shows that my family loves, too. We watch- as a family- Ink Masters and Face Off. We just recently added Heroes of Cosplay to the line up.
Ink masters.
We watch it and have nerdy family debates over who should go home and why some one's tattoo was the worst and how their shading and line work were---because we're tattoo experts here at the Olson house.
Sometimes, when I wake up at 6am, I remember that one of our channels runs 2 hours of Party of Five and I tell myself that I have seen every episode and it's a dumb show, but glimpse at Bailey, who just wants to stop screwing things up and Julia who is incapable of not having PMS every single day of her life, or Charlie- poor dumb Charlie, can't you get your act together? For Kirsten? For Owen? Oh Charlie...

Yeah, I enjoy really stupid TV.
 What's the stupidest show you watch, the one you don't want anyone to know that you watch?
Tell me so I won't feel so alone.

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