Saturday, September 28, 2013

A Trillion September Pictures

Goodbye, September.
You kicked our butts, but we're still standing.
Bring on October with your beautiful New Jersey colors and weather that is perfect for sweaters and pumpkin desserts baking in the oven. 

When I remember September, I will be sure not to forget things like:

These three kids starting grades 12, 9 and 7.

A five hour board game.

That Kyle won.
Oh the humanity!

Having these four kids over for dinner.
Elder Key has been a good friend to Zane for sure.
He bore his testimony to us and he said some things that spoke to my heart. I knew, without a doubt that Elder Key had been specifically praying for members of my family and that the Lord would answer his prayers as well as ours, but I needed to trust Him.

 I won't forget seeing cutie pie nieces and nephews during my trip to Utah.

"Tate a piture a' me when I do 'dis"

 Rows and rows of LDS books at the DI.
I love Unique, but I miss the DI.

 I got to see these beautiful ladies.
Oh, my heart.

I went to Leatherby's and met up with some of my sweet wardies fro Taylorsville.

I may have eaten this.
Okay, I totally ate this.

 I got to see my grown- up kids and stay with my wonderful in-laws.

I love everyone, but being with my kids was the best part.

 I also got to see my baby sister.
I miss my Sunniebun.

When I got back to New Jersey, I got to take this lady to go and pick up her car.
She hasn't had one in about a year, it's been so rough for her, I don't think I've ever seen a bigger smile than when Tara had the keys to her car.

 Five days later, Matt and I went to Hackensack and picked up a car of our own.

We got a Dodge Dakota for Zane to drive until he leaves on his mission.
It's a real man-car.
Zane was hoping for a truck, but we were mostly concerned with getting something that would clear our stupid driveway that every car bottoms out on. 
The Dodge fits the bill for sure.
We got a very good deal on it because it is old ad has a billion miles on it as well as some damage in the rear, but we can fix that up for a few hundred bucks in the spring after it has survived one final rust season.
This kid will be driving on his own in about 2 weeks. 
That scares the tar out of me, but I think I'll get over that fear the first Monday I don't have to get up for early morning seminary.

Let's hope October is so boring that I have nothing to do but write about changing leaves and knitting projects.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Nyquil + Cable TV = Brain Rot

School starts tomorrow in Springfield.
Their lunches are all packed and we're ready to start another year.
I forgot to buy plastic spoons for their fruit..
I'm still Supermom for packing their lunches every day.
I'm sick today, I skipped church and stayed in bed like a dying slug.
I started watching the stupidest redneck show:  Mountain Men.
It's been on the History Channel all day and I can't stop watching.
It's even worse than Whisker Wars- which I watched the entire season of.
I watch these people and I don't think this show does much to dispel the idea that they're kind of nincompoops.
They take great pride on how they haven't changed with the times, but they drive snowmobiles and light fires with lighters- and they also have camera crews following them around, so it's not like they are going to die alone in the Montana wilderness.
The guy in the middle is the one I want to throw a shoe at.
If there is a right way to do something and a stupid way, he will always choose the stupid way and then he wonders why his crap is breaking all of the time.
Maybe things break the day after you fixed them because you repair wheels with rocks and use gunpowder to split wood because you waited until 48 hours before your bank loan was due to even think about a way to make your payment, Eustace.
He lives in North Carolina, about 15 miles away from a regular town where I'm pretty sure they will sell you a hammer, so you're not fixing your plow with a rock for TV.
Eh, who am I to judge?
I've been watching it for 9 hours.
In my defense I've taken a LOT of flu medicine.
But I have terrible taste in TV shows, I know that.
If you look at my DVR, you'll stop being my friend.
Yes, there are the good shows- Downton Abbey, Broadchurch, and Big Bang Theory, but there are a lot of really stupid reality Tv shows that my family loves, too. We watch- as a family- Ink Masters and Face Off. We just recently added Heroes of Cosplay to the line up.
Ink masters.
We watch it and have nerdy family debates over who should go home and why some one's tattoo was the worst and how their shading and line work were---because we're tattoo experts here at the Olson house.
Sometimes, when I wake up at 6am, I remember that one of our channels runs 2 hours of Party of Five and I tell myself that I have seen every episode and it's a dumb show, but glimpse at Bailey, who just wants to stop screwing things up and Julia who is incapable of not having PMS every single day of her life, or Charlie- poor dumb Charlie, can't you get your act together? For Kirsten? For Owen? Oh Charlie...

Yeah, I enjoy really stupid TV.
 What's the stupidest show you watch, the one you don't want anyone to know that you watch?
Tell me so I won't feel so alone.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Resume Playing

I have no fewer than 8 blog updates in my 'drafts' folder.
I've tried to post, but it's just not working.
I'm not quite working, that's what it is.

Something hard is going on and it's a big one.
Posting sad doesn't help, the undertow of the hardship seems to just pull me further downstream.
Posting happy isn't helping, either, because something inside of me thinks that if I take my eyes off the hard thing for even one moment, I will lose sight of where my soul is going. 
So, each time I get than nagging reminder to post, I hold my breath and start writing, but I forget to exhale.
Maybe I can't exhale right now, maybe I shouldn't.

This isn't the time or the place to talk about this hard thing that we are working through, but if I don't get back to posting something, I'm likely to stop posting for a long time, and blogging is a good thing. Blogging helps remind us of the best of what we have in our lives and the journey we take. 

Blogging is good, even when it's just posts about crap in your house and food you eat.
 Blogging is good when it's about weirdness from your past and stress you have about your future. It's good when you're feeling creative and when you're feeling like a hack. 
Blogging is good when you feel surrounded by love and it is good when you wonder if even God is listening. 

So, I will blog. 

I will blog boring, I will blog lame. I will blog silly and smart and I will post bad pictures I took with my phone and amazing shots of places that only I seem to find beauty in. There will be pictures of my kids, of my sweetheart and stories about church and things I remember as I try to sort the stories out.
I will see the things I do have and will stop looking at the things I do not. 
I will be thankful and I will have faith that everything is going to be okay and we are all completely lovable by a God who cares about us so much. He weeps with us and he weeps for us, he also rejoices and dances for us. 
I have no doubt that God, up there in wherever  Heaven may be...... dances.

He dances for you. 
He dances for me. 
He twirls and spins and smiles with delight right there with us as we learn the steps and feel all of that love he has for us. 

When things get so hard that I forget to even breathe, in faith, I will walk across the empty room and turn on the music.
I will follow his lead.