Saturday, August 10, 2013

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Last night Matt had bad dreams.
Maybe our house is haunted.
It's an 85 year old house that once served as a dorm for the boys attending a Jewish school that had been next door. They shut it down because they had over 20 kids here and at the time, the size of the house was about half what it is now.
Maybe the spirits of those kids (none of which died or anything) are poking at out brains as we sleep.
I don't know.
All I know is that lately, I have been entirely too bleeeeeah.
for those of you that endured my heavy post yesterday as well as those who said "TLDR" and waited until my medication kicked in- here ya go:

Oh Yesssss!!!
Back at The Unique!!!
Rock on Baby!!! Limozeen is in da houssssse!

Baby's first jackhammer.
Seriously WHY?

It's not gross because it's purple.
It's not gross because it's nostrils are big enough to park a hot wheels in.
It's gross because it has an outie.
Some things you just can't unsee. I'm sorry.

Like this guy:

Normally I don't take pictures of the fine folks who share my love of Unique, but this guy had his dead mother or something in the shopping cart as he looked through the Stephen King novels.
Somewhere, there's a hooker in a freezer who is missing her 9:00 appointment.

I think This is the actual Last Unicorn.

Thank you Optimus Prime, now  Mommy has  head lice.

Wanna snuggle?

Go home Teddy Bear Lamp, you're drunk.
(Yes, I am going to do a 'go home you're drunk' in EVERY Unique post.)

"Oh Skipper, you're so dope! You totally rocked the dance floor when they played the radio edit version of that inappropriate song at the church dance, Girlfriend!"

All of the jokes I have for this will probably get me disfellowshipped or called into cub scouts. 

Drink your juice, Timmy or else the nice clown is going to EAT YOUR FACE!!!!!

Nothing shows the kids on the playground that you're a total baddie like eating your PB&J that Mommy made you while sippin' apple juice from your Eminem Thermos.

Teddy Ruxpin...the night before he lost everything when he bet it all on red. 
He hasn't been seen since.

The "reasons why we're divorced" music collection.

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