Friday, June 21, 2013

This Week at Unique

It's just been too long since I made a Unique Post.
I still go there almost every week- just a quick scan for the shirts Zane likes and I walk through the furniture to see if there is some diamond in the rough there that needs me. I find many, but more often than not, I talk myself out of it because loading it in the car and back into the house would be work. 
I cannot count the number of awesome items that I walked away from out of sheer laziness.

I also, somehow, managed to walk away without these:


 The Rosie O'Doll, because who doesn't want to cuddle up to a doll in a blazer that giggles like Betty from the Flintstones? Take that Barbie, you plastic wench.
---
There was an entire wall of what I like to call "lamp nightmares" because no bogeyman or monster nder the bed is scarier than what you see when you turn ON the lights.



How good are your balloon animal skills when you have no fingers or thumbs?
--


Dumbo's pasty cousin from Utah. 
Hey now! We have diversity in Utah, there's a Taco Bell, Olive Garden and stores carry at least 4 flavors of Tampico. 

----
At first, it appears to just be a scary goose lamp:


But turn her around and Mother goose will play your favorite cassette tape from her behind. 
Brilliant.
---

 This lamp has been on the shelves for months

The wooden sticks come out.
 I don't understand why.
 I also don't understand why one stick seems to have been through some kind of war, while the other three are shiny and intact.
 I don't know why this lamp exists.
What is the purpose of this lamp with sticks that come out? 
Why only use one stick?
When did the universe begin?
What is the meaning of life?
If Timmy is traveling to San Jose on a train going 75 MPH and Molly is traveling to Phoenix on a boat going 24 MPH, what time will Felix arrive in Copenhagen?
Somehow, this lamp contains the answers.
---



Simultaneously the most ugly and awesome high chair ever.
--


The Rad Robot. 
Do you children of the 80's remember this?
Me neither, but I'll bet he was epic in his day. 
Sorry, Rad Robot, I had children to do all of my work for me, so I don't need you.
----


This was part of a set, however the second mother of pearlish bird picture was located four rows down, in housewares. 
The feathers are seashell stuff- mounted on blue crushed velvet.
If you close your eyes, you can hear the separated seashell birds, calling out for each other.....



   They might possibly be saying "moow....moow"
How hard is it to get the sound a cow makes correct?
Oh, New Jersey.



 Nothing I say comes close to the way your brain will explode at the awesomeness of this heavy, ceramic wall plaque.
That, my friends is art.
-----


And you thought your prom date did a good job of matching his suit to your dress....
Well played, Sean Connery.
----
I think this is a cat:


But it kind of looks like a poop with feet.

----


  I wonder if the owner of this had a hard time letting it go and it just slowly made it's way to the Goodwill?
Oh shut up- do you have a better line for an eyeless ceramic snail?
----

Owls are on trend right now, right?
---

 Happy Mother's Day, here's a Holly Hobby plate.
Cherish it forever.


In New Jersey-- it's just two cute kids having first communion.
Through Utah eyes...... it's a Hilldale Wedding.
---
Did your Nana have a bunch of these staring at your from her fancy 'do not touch' shelf?

Were you as annoyed as I was a kid when you touched them anyway and discovered that they were just Styrofoam and their skin was made out of pantyhose?



 --- 

I don't know what to say about the yellow squatting bear thingy.
I don't know what it is and I was afraid to touch it.
----


Goatee Monkey has had just about enough of your crap. 
Eat the banana or throw it away, but stop smashing it on your forehead, Baby Monkey.
You're stupid, Baby Monkey, and Goatee Monkey is about to go all King Kong on you if you don't knock it off..
 --

And there you have another installment of  This Week at Unique.


It's funner than a one eyed, naked baby rolling around in butterflies or flowers or whatever that's supposed to be.

1 comment:

  1. Stick Lamp: I think those are Belaying pins, and the lamp is supposed to be reminiscent of a sailing ship mast or something.

    Yellow squatty bear wants your soft toilet paper.

    thumbless clown" ...And here is a snake... And this one is a worm..."

    ReplyDelete