I haven't been doing so great lately.
I can sit and list all of the things that have been weighing me down and kicking my butt or I can just move on.
If I'm going to move on, I need to at least invest in a few steps in a different directions.
Just little ones though.
I'm not feeling too steady these days, so I'll focus on things that feel easier.
My little black heart is just a bit too overburdened right now and it's all quite too much for me to manage just right now.
We take on too much or tell ourselves that we're okay with things that happen when the only part of us that is okay with it, is the part that seems to be telling everyone that we don't need help and we can do everything. Life brings disappointments and you don't always get to do the things you want to do and it makes things a little bit harder. Sometimes it feels too hard and right now, I am feeling that way. I know it will pass, but right now, I carry heavy, rough cinder blocks around my heart.
Today, my body told me that enough was enough and I needed to slow down.
I woke up with a massive head cold, or maybe it's allergies. I don't know.
I just know I need a break and I'd rather find a way to take one by choice than have my body just shut down and force one on me.
Dare I say, I'm considering going....camping?
No tents and hiking, just somewhere quiet, by a lake with running water and a change of scenery.
I just need a few days with my family away from phones and emails and driving and meetings and 1000 problems I cannot solve, but cannot stop trying to fix.
Tomorrow will be better, and if it's not, then next week, I'm sure.
I think it is our one year anniversary of moving to New Jersey today or possibly tomorrow.
Life is so strange.
It's good, but not like anything I imagined it would be and that's okay.
Or at least, it will be okay tomorrow.