Monday, April 29, 2013

Is it May Yet??

It's almost May.
Did you know that May is one of my favorite months?
It's warm, but not gross. You can see the finish line for summer break and sleeping in. Birds chirp, trees are green and your heart practically bursts out of your chest every day with how wonderful May is.
I probably post this video every year, but it's always being sung as soon as I step outside and my soul squeals with delight that it is finally May.

I know, Guenevere was a tramp, but you can't blame a girl for getting a little too giddy after being trapped in a cold dark castle all winter long. Okay, you can blame her for that whole Lancelot thing- that was horrible, but I still embrace the careless abandon and barefoot-ness of the month.
I know Spring starts in march, but who are we kidding? You don't actually feel safe from winter until May. May is  a different season- proper.
I'm just a wee bit excited about it.
It had to be said before I could move on with my regular life.
My regular life is moving these days, I'll tell you that.
My email boxes are starting to get peppered with renewal notices- 1 year renewals- for all of the things I signed up for and started when we moved to New Jersey.
The end of May marks one year here.
I know!
One year already. when did that happen? I don't know if I should celebrate or cry. Sometimes I do both.
I've made so many dear new friends, I love our too-small home and our little commuter town that thinks Mormons are some kind of hybrid between Amish and Quaker.
I've had three callings already.
I was ward activities co-chair, then I was Primary first counselor.
I say that because it is in the past tense.
I was released yesterday, so that I can get to work on my new calling:
Second Counselor in the Stake Primary Presidency.
I know!

I have no idea what that even means and what we will be doing. Maggie Cicon, my other Maggie that I love, is the new Stake Primary President. I feel so stinkin' lucky to have an excuse to hang out with her again and call it church work.

I am sad sad sad to not be in our ward Primary every week though. That was very hard for me to face. I cried my eyes out and wondered "When will I get a hug from Jane U? Who will give Ryder Z Werther's candy when he's being sassy and know that he does much better with a sweet than a stern word? Who will sit by Julia T and let her put stickers all over their arms so that she will stay in her seat? Who will put on Axel M's shoes when he takes them off over and over again as he's learning to mainstream into environments with non-disabled kids? Who will pass out the stickers and sneak treats to the rowdy boys in the back row?

I know someone will do those things, and they will do what needs to be done for their time in Primary.
 I think I was actually less concerned that the things would get done and more concerned with how I would miss being the one to do them.

I went in yesterday with a heavy heart, but a smile on my face.
And wouldn't you know it, Jane U could tell I was hurting inside.
I sat in the front as we sang and she looked at me and smiled and I smiled back.
She then leaped from her seat and gave me the biggest hug I think I have ever been given.
That kid sees right into my hear and has a way of knowing when you're scared inside.
I took her sweet little face in my hands and looked her in the eyes and said "Do you know how much I love you? You are so special and such a joy to my heart. I will always be your friend and I will always love you, Jane"
She looked right back at me and said "I know that. You always loved me." and gave me another hug.
I simply can't count high enough to number my many blessings.
Sharing Time went on. Axel took off his shoes and looked to me- he has it in his head that this is something 'we' do and I felt my heart string play a happy note as I got from my chair, sat on the floor and gently put his shoes back on and he kissed the top of my head.
Ryder gave me the 'do you have them?" look and I slipped him one of those sickeningly sweet toffees that I buy just for him,
The back row boys got rowdy and I sat with them and we failed at staying reverent, as we usually do because they are really funny boys.
Then it was over, I put things away, gave the stragglers extra candy and said goodbye to Kuniko, MaryAnn and Natalie, who were trying to figure out who to call for the new counselor.
They can handle it just fine, it's me who will struggle without them every week.
 I was never serving the Primary, it was always serving me.

I'm nervous and intimidated and I have no idea what is next.
 We have 15 units with Primaries and leaders to help take care of. I'll be traveling all over New Jersey and will miss more Sundays in our ward than before, but I'm ready. I can do it  and there is no better month to jump into an adventure and take risks than the lovely month of May.

1 comment:

  1. CONGRATULATIONS Chris!!! You and I have the SAME exact calling! 2nd counselor in Stake Primary!!! Let me tell you....I LOVE my calling! Love love love it and I'm sure you will too!!!
    We sure do miss you and the family!