Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Mormon Rosh Hashana

The kids had two days off this week for Rosh Hashana and we spent one of those day on a little hike with friends from the ward. It took about 10 minutes for the boys to abandon the nice, paved walking/bike train and go straight down the steep slope of the hill.
Hey, they heard water. It was calling, Yo.

We old folk followed with the younger kids, trying not to fall on our faces and wondering if we'd be able to make it back up later.

I have to say, the kids found a stunning place to play and get soaked.

Nobody fell...well, nobody drew blood when they fell, and I'm considering that a win.
When I came home, I was quite proud of myself for not being a total weenie and actually hiking. 
You all know how I feel about getting nature all over my body. 
Ew, burns usssss......

When my body reminded me that it hates me that evening and I went to soak in the tub, I saw that I am old. I not only felt like I'd been through the wringer, I looked like I had, too.

Yes, I was in the tub when this picture was taken.
Yes, I know it's TMI, but the picture ends at my knees, deal with it.
Yes, my husband gave me a weird look when I asked him to take a picture of me in the tub, since that's not how we roll, Yo.

Yes, I know my habit of saying "Yo" whenever I say something that was remotely cool 15 years ago is supremely dorky, but that's how I ro.....never mind.

Today I had another series of steroid shots in my back.
That procedure I had before we moved was not successful, my new doctor said he hates that procedure because it rarely works and it does more harm than good. 
Whatever Dude, just make it stop hurting.........Yo.
We have a pain plan. Every three months I get injections, even if I'm not dying. He says we need to stay ahead of the arthritis, knowing what it is means we stop trying to 'fix' something that can't be fixed and we stop letting it get so out of control pain-wise before we deal with it. 
How's that for a metaphor for life....Yo?
How often do we wait until we are already underwater before asking someone to throw us a line?
I do it. I do it most of the time.
I wonder how my life would be different if I saw my needs as important and when I needed help, I just asked- before it became a huge, overwhelming deal.
I'm not emotionally in a place where I can fix that now, but it helps to be aware of it. I can start doing better and start taking better care of myself and do what needs to be done so that my soul pains don't take over. 

I expected this move to be hard.
 It has been harder than I expected and I don't think I'm handling things the best way. You can prepare yourself mentally for almost anything, but your heart isn't a Boy Scout. Your heart always  goes "What the Heck?" when things are hard. At least mine does.
I'm starting to see some of the work the Lord has for me to do here in the big old city, and part of me just keeps saying "not today" because my heart feels as beat up as my mosquito savaged legs still.
It isn't a choice that keeps me on top of pain.
So, that's the new goal- pain is fine, pain is a message your body or soul is sending that lets you know something needs to be dealt with- but pain shouldn't be the center of your life, pain shouldn't be in charge.

On a brighter note, look at these cute kids. 
Don't you just love surprise no school days because it's a Jewish Holiday you don't celebrate?

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