Monday, June 11, 2012

Just Keep Swimming

New City= New Blog
I'm not going to pretend it's much more interesting than that.
I am not making this blog private, but I would ask that it not be listed in other blog lists for now.
We need a break from some people who have issues with boundaries.


I've written a couple of shiny new 'first' posts and I get overwhelmed and give up.
I need to just start.

This place is very different.
I am struggling right now, but it's only been a week. I feel like I'm in a foreign country where I thought I spoke the language better than I actually do. I'm too scared to drive at this point.

 The grocery stores are packed with people who want to be right in front of you right now so they can stand there and do nothing.
They throw the garbage right out on the curb without giant matching trash cans the city makes you rent.

 Everyone is in a hurry and I swear to Bob I am not going to the local Walmart ever again. West Valley City has NOTHING on the people of Walmart in Union.


And then there are fireflies.
There are little Italian bakeries and pizza joints where they serve thin crust pizza you fold in half to eat and they stare at you like you're nuts when you take pictures of it.

There are trees that reach the sky and squirrels in the back yard.

There are new hardwood floors and a sofa we bought that fits perfectly in the new family room.

There are neighbors with names like Jacobv and Bronya who don't know the English words for things, so instead of saying "deer" they say "beer" and then they laugh because they know they have it wrong based on the look you just gave them.

It doesn't feel like home in any way right now.
I am remembering that Utah felt totally weird for a few months when I left Arizona. That's hard to believe and I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but I didn't feel like Utah was home for some time. That gives me hope, but sometimes, when the kids aren't in the room I do sit on that new sofa and cry a little bit.
This is really hard.
Before we left Utah, we talked about how we get to choose a new place to sit in our new ward, we don't have to be the Olsons who sit right in the middle of the third row.
When Matt brought that up a few days ago, asking where we think we will sit, my chest got tight and I couldn't think about it. Too many changes.
It will feel fine in time, I trust that, but right now I'm like this lost tourist walking around saying "Hablo Deseret?"

One step at a time, Self.
Just keep swimming and hit "publish..."

8 comments:

  1. Thanks, Chris, for the blog URL. And all I can say is hang in there; soon things should become familiar and not so scary. And having said that, I have to tell you that I've lived in the same house and the same ward for over 45 years!! Like I know what it is like to move to a "foreign" place!

    Hugs!

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  2. Big change like yours IS hard. I am glad to be following along with you again as you learn and adjust. I remember someone telling me after one of our moves that it takes a good year to really feel a part of a place. You are right, it just takes time, and you have the right attitude. Hang in there! Perhaps those Italian Bakeries will make it a little easier. :)

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  3. I am so glad you shared this blog :) I am happy you found that courage! I understand a bit what you are going through, moving three times last year was not fun. I just keep looking at the new adventures and trying not to let the traffic and hugeness of Orange county and LA get to me. You know you still could be the Olsons who sit in the middle on the third row, then you would have one less change. Enjoy the fireflies, we miss them dearly.

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  4. Chris,
    When John and I got married, we actually did move to a foriegn country. It was hard because I literally knew nobody, we lived about 2 miles away from anyone outside of town in a home where you could hear the mice and rats running through the vents, you didn't dare go to the bathroom in the nighttime without your slippers, and you had to make sure that you kept them on the bottom of the bed and even shake them out before you put them on, I had to walk into town if I wanted to go to my inlaws, and I didn't speak but one work of the language. Hola! I was to afraid to drive because John told me "you either drive like they do down here, or you will get into an accident!" So I just refused, and had to wait for John. (Now, give me a car and I will go ANYWHERE!!!) I wouldn't go to the stores with out John because people would talk to me, and I just starred back at them like an idiot! I loved going to church, because it was in English, and we found our seat, back row left side. It truley became home to me in time, and to this day 13 years after leaving it, it is still home to me!! "Just Keep Swimming" is the perfect name for your blog! Remember, if you ever need any words of support and encouragement NEMO, you know where to turn!!! Love ya girly!!!

    Sheree

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  5. You're amazing! Hugs from Utah!

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  6. LOVE the house and the nice big yard. Thinking of you both, wishing you the best and waiting for your next post. Big hugs

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  7. I think this is a perfect "first" blog. Things aren't always shiny, but you have some rays poking through. And the internet makes everything closer (probably some things closer than we'd like.) Keep breathing and swimming, and know that people in Arizona and Utah love you!

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  8. Don't know what in the heck i'm doing,...just wrote you a 3 page, 1 box of kleenex letter......it's out in cyberspace....it's 4:15 a.m. sunday and I have to conduct tomorrow.......I will re-create when not so emotional....
    Love, D.

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