New City= New Blog
I'm not going to pretend it's much more interesting than that.
I am not making this blog private, but I would ask that it not be listed in other blog lists for now.
We need a break from some people who have issues with boundaries.
I've written a couple of shiny new 'first' posts and I get overwhelmed and give up.
I need to just start.
This place is very different.
I am struggling right now, but it's only been a week. I feel like I'm in a foreign country where I thought I spoke the language better than I actually do. I'm too scared to drive at this point.
The grocery stores are packed with people who want to be right in front of you right now so they can stand there and do nothing.
They throw the garbage right out on the curb without giant matching trash cans the city makes you rent.
Everyone is in a hurry and I swear to Bob I am not going to the local Walmart ever again. West Valley City has NOTHING on the people of Walmart in Union.
And then there are fireflies.
There are little Italian bakeries and pizza joints where they serve thin crust pizza you fold in half to eat and they stare at you like you're nuts when you take pictures of it.
There are trees that reach the sky and squirrels in the back yard.
There are new hardwood floors and a sofa we bought that fits perfectly in the new family room.
There are neighbors with names like Jacobv and Bronya who don't know the English words for things, so instead of saying "deer" they say "beer" and then they laugh because they know they have it wrong based on the look you just gave them.
It doesn't feel like home in any way right now.
I am remembering that Utah felt totally weird for a few months when I left Arizona. That's hard to believe and I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but I didn't feel like Utah was home for some time. That gives me hope, but sometimes, when the kids aren't in the room I do sit on that new sofa and cry a little bit.
This is really hard.
Before we left Utah, we talked about how we get to choose a new place to sit in our new ward, we don't have to be the Olsons who sit right in the middle of the third row.
When Matt brought that up a few days ago, asking where we think we will sit, my chest got tight and I couldn't think about it. Too many changes.
It will feel fine in time, I trust that, but right now I'm like this lost tourist walking around saying "Hablo Deseret?"
One step at a time, Self.
Just keep swimming and hit "publish..."